A myriad of thoughts of feelings popped up as I began to write about Mothers’ Day. As with all occassions, an individuals’ own circumstances will inform their experiences and associations.
Celebration for some, grief for others. Gratitude, guilt, sadness and joy, a complex myriad of feelings.
Mothers’ Day is traditionally about celebrating and honouring the hard work of mothers – the day was created when domestic staff were given the day off work to join their families at church where children would often gather wild flowers to give to their mothers. The focus was on families coming together to mark the mother as the central hub of the family. Whilst this theme continues in modern times with flowers and family time being a focus, the commercialism has become problematic for some.
A distinction I would like to think about is a mothers’ value. There is, of course, huge value in being a mother – this role ensures the continuation of our species. The responsibility to protect a child, model values, and provide nurture is challenging and time consuming requiring many mothers to sacrifice their own wants and desires. This doesn’t mean that women that aren’t mothers don’t have the same value. Whether this is through choice or circumstance, we all have value and can equally contribute
I am fortunate to still have my mother and to be a mother and have enjoyed, over the years, experiencing excitement making home-made gifts for my mother and, witnessing the same excitement from my own children as they arrived home from school proudly bearing colourful offerings. There is something comforting in being part of this transgenerational process.
Reflecting on the journey of motherhood and daughterhood, I can see clear parallels. The realisation that my mother isn’t super human, is flawed and has struggles, didn’t prevent me knowing that she always wanted what was best for me and, in turn, I know this to be a true as a mother. I have needed varying resources at different life stages both being a daughter, and a mother.
In amongst feelings of frustration, fear, guilt and sadness, the consistent reward has been an unwavering feeling of warmth, gratitude and love.
In conclusion, rather than , or as well as, the simplistic tradition of offering gifts, I would love Mothers Day to be a space for individuals to reflect on the meaning it has for them, whatever that might be.
