Helping Teenagers be Healthy Happy Eaters

Teenagehood is a time of intense social, intellectual and physical development.

At the same time, the teenage years can be a complex eating time. While it is a time of play & experiment with food, is also a time when the message that the developing body can or should be controlled through food and exercise (and other things) can become really ingrained. I have lost track of how many clients told me that they were gifted personal training for their 16th birthday, or told me how they learned that girls need to strive to be leaner, faster, prettier, healthier and more desirable as a fact of womanhood, or learnt that healthful dinners are carbohydrate-free or bubble tea after school is dangerous or successful, busy people skip breakfast.

And while all this is going on, teenage bodies and minds are growing at a rapid rate. Teenagers need different nutrition, in a different way to young children and different nutrition in a different way from adults.

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The Nutrition Bit

When it comes to feeding teens, the age-old advice of generous, regular and varied meals and snacks still applies, but there are certain things that are particularly pertinent to teenage eating:

1. Teenagers will eat in a way that may seem surprising. All of a sudden, they might be eating the whole packet of biscuits instead of just 2 or 3. They may be reaching for unusual foods such as eating butter by the spoonful or frying eggs after school or needing a sweet snack soon after breakfast. All this is a sign of healthy, growing and busy bodies & minds.

2. The ebb and flow of teenage eating is normal. Teenagers do not grow and develop in a regular way. They will have times of intense needs and times when their appetites seem lower or different.

3. Growing up is a very energy intensive time and teenagers need a lot of carbohydrates to keep their energy up. Grain-free dinners should never be the family norm. Teens will also crave more sweet foods and need more regular nutrition throughout the day than adults.

4. Iodine (found in fish, eggs, cow’s milk and seaweed) is important and especially for girls. It is needed for the thyroid development and to prevent issues in pregnancy later on in life. In the UK, iodine deficiency is increasingly becoming a public health concern.

5. Saturated fats are important for healthy hormones, an efficient nervous system and brain development. Children brought up on “careful” diets without enough fats can be at risk of issues around memory and concentration, hormone issues (and related bone issues), dry skin and mood issues.

6. Digestive wellbeing. Constipation is a very common issue for teenagers. Healthy guts need a nice combination of water, fibre, oil, calm and movement.

7. Movement does not need to be formal exercise – it can be dancing in the bedroom, regularly baking bread or joining a drama group.

8. Chocolate. Chocolate in rich is iron and magnesium. Girls especially need these nutrients during their periods and may really profit from eating some extra chocolate when they are menstruating.

9. Energy drinks – saying “no” to any food is rarely helpful but energy drinks rightfully have a bad reputation. They can affect mood and energy balance, as well as causing issues with sleep and heart health. If teenagers are relying on them, there is always a reason, and this needs to be thought about.

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Keep Chatting and Keep Eating Cake

Children are avid watchers and are always learning. Seeing their parents have a calm happy, positive relationship to food with no rules is a wonderful education to their own self-care around food. It is always vital and brilliant to keep talking to your teenagers about food and to ask questions around their own food culture; are their friends at school engaging in unhealthy food behaviour or rules, what have they seen on social media, what have they (mis)understood from Biology and PSHE lessons, what messages have they got from menus or the school canteen; have they noticed anything different about their appetite, are they feeling nourished throughout the school day, do they need more pocket money for after school snacks and is there anything they are worried about?

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Getting the Balance Right

One of the trickiest things to manage is the balance between giving care and promoting independence around food. It can be unhelpful to be too overbearing or over-anxious about what your teenagers eat. It is important to give them freedom to make their own choices (even if those choices end up being mistakes). Teenagers are going to experiment with food and their bodies in surprising or even silly ways. They may not be interested in always eating meals at mealtimes, instead eating earlier or later with friends, they may want to cook large snacks when they get home from school, eat two chocolate bars at a time or get home from spending time with friends having only eaten cola bottles all evening. This can be difficult to manage, and the following thoughts may be helpful:

1. Even if your teenager’s plans keep changing, they still need regular nutrition. Do not put rules on what can or cannot be eaten or when. If they come home late having not eaten, then they still need an evening meal.

2. Notice the difference between your teenager not being bothered verses making active rules that are restrictive or limiting. There is a difference between missing a meal because your teenager was having fun and lost track of time and actively avoiding meals. Rule-based language – such as “should” or “must” or “always” – can be a helpful clue as to if there is any active restriction or control going on around food

3. Never criticise what your teenager is eating, their body or their appetite. You may think your child has eaten a lot or worry that they have not eaten enough fresh food, but there is no need to make it into a “thing”. Allow them space to explore their eating, needs and body without commentary.

4. If you feel your child is over-eating or eating in a disconnected way, then talk to a therapist or nutritional therapist about managing this. These things do not happen randomly, and it is important not to shame or worry your teen.

5. Teenagers who are neurodivergent may benefit from eating in a different way to other members of the family, and this difference is not a problem. They may like different foods, made in a different way and may need a different routine (or less of a routine). They may be more pleasure-seeking or pleasure- avoiding. It is important not to criticize or even comment on these “differences” as it can be shaming or confusing.

6. Monitor all social media use. Social media parental controls do not filter dangerous, destructive and unscientific information about food, exercise and the body. Ensure that your teen knows that social media accounts promoting supplements, exercise, diets, “healthy eating” and things like peptides are never designed to keep one safe, well and happy. Instead, they are designed to sell stuff and make money out of people feeling vulnerable. Keep an eye on the plethora of images of the body (including friend’s holiday or prom photos) as these can be unhelpful (especially with the use of filters).

7. Don’t be afraid to ask if you are ever concerned. It is never too early or not helpful to ask if you notice any difference in your teenager’s eating and or their social media use around food. Their eating should not become more restrictive, or rule-based or more secretive. They should not be following diet-based food accounts. When you talk to your teenagers about their food, do not mention the body or bring it back to aesthetics. I would focus on how they are feeling, any worries they may have and if they have noticed any changes in their food or feelings.